The weather is very nice for the time of year!!

Ryder Cup Fever

Matchplay was in vogue at Tiverton GC this morning as England took on the Black & Whites (Richard T and Kevin) in a two part Ryder Cup style tournament. Holes 1-9 were played as a fourball, holes 10-18 as greensomes.

The unusual format was matched by some unusual play on the first tee. England teed off, Mike hitting far and left, and lost ball. Charlie, realising the need for a safe shot to stay in the hole put it safely just off to the left, albeit about 18 inches away from the tee. Richard and Kevin, playing in matching shirts, shorts, socks and shoes, played left as well but won the hole comfortably with a 75 yard chip from Kevin for a par. After that start, holes won oscillated back and forth. The standard was prtty high with birdies and pars required to take a hole.

Eventually, the morning's play came down to the 9th with the match all square. Mike hit short, Charlie bunkered, Richard just off the green and Kevin right. Learning from Hunter Mahan, Kevin chipped about 3 feet forward to remain positioned off the green, Charlie cleared the green, as did Mike. It was then a simple up and down for Richard and the morning nine holes was won putting the Black & Whites ahead by a point.

Heading into the afternoon session from hole 10, with time for just a quick Mars bar and Lucozade, the format was still being discussed as Richard teed up. Greensomes was decided, where both players tee off, the better drive is chosen and then alternate shots are taken.

Richard's immense hit off the tee prompted Kevin to return his driver to his bag, where it stayed for quite a few holes. Some good recovery play from Mike and Charlie and the hole was halved. Mike then commented, somewhat prohetically, that this format was going to make scoring very difficult. Mike and Charlie then lost the next four holes to a variety of hugely fantastic driving from Richard, accurate approach play and brilliant chipping from Kevin. The 15th was halved, and the match went to the Black & Whites, 2-0.

Richard and Kevin are now considering a professional career on the senior greensomes tour having shot 5 pars, 1 birdie, a bogey and a conceded hole (after a slight mess up with a rabbit hole).

The format proved popular and will, no doubt be used again soon. In the meantime, we are now trying to work out how to organise a Texas Scramble. This will most likely be a nine hole match down in Okehampton later this year, if we have enough players.

Winter Tour

It was agreed that we should aim for tour dates of Thursday, 2 December to Saturday, 4 December.

Venue: Manor House Hotel and Ashbury Golf Hotel www.manorhousehotel.co.uk

Format: There are multiple sports and numerous golf courses. Initial thinking is that there will be two rounds for the Masters trophy as well as plenty of other side competitions, leading to an overall Sporting Superstar. Check out the manor House website to see the range of activities you will be competing in. David is already preparing for the jewellery event.

Prizes: Everyone attending (or not) is expected to bring a trophy with a value of no more than £5.00. Trophies can then be allocated to events as fit.

Mike will be making a preliminarybooking of five rooms, I think. Ideally we would like six competitors to ensure team sports can also be considered.

New Name

New tournament, new name on the trophy. Martyn beat off all and sundry to win a masterful Masters yesterday. There was some discussion after the event as to whether this was the least keenly contested Masters, based on a winning score of 35 points, but I can now reveal that last September Kevin won it with just 32 points. So, credit where it is due, Martyn is a worthy winner. It is also worth mentioning that this was the first event off the white tees, the competition tees, no less. Therefore a new standard has been set.

The story of the day is pretty uneventful. There were five competing for the trophy this quarter. Richard T and Harry hold the lowest handicaps ion the society and both were notable absentees. Malcolm was up in the air so could not defend his title, and Richrd M is now working!!

Heading off from the tenth, the first nine produced little excitement, especially in the first group of Mike and Kevin. Their combined stableford point score for this half was 23. Meanwhile the three ball of Charlie, David and Martyn produced a more compelling 14, 15 and 16 points respectively. The second half resulted in a combined 26 points for the leading pair, while Charlie, David and martyn carded 18, 15 and 19 apiece.

So final scores: Martyn 35 points, Charlie 32, David 30, Kevin 28 and Mike 21.

Congratulations to Martyn - we look forward to seeing whether the etching of Burnham & Berrow can compare the standards set in Tiverton.

As a postscript, it should be mentioned that Martyn was the pre-tournament favourite given that he had emailed me to complain his handicap was too high!

Masters Reminder

Just to remind everyone, next Friday is the date set for our quarterly Masters competition. Ahead of that, I have updated the handicaps and they now stand as follows. I know some will play a round or two next week before the big event, so there may be some late changes.

Charlie 15.7 (16)
David 22.7 (23)
Harry 12.2 (12)
Kevin 13.6 (14)
Martin 14.7 (15)
Malcolm 13.9 (14)
Mike 13.7 (14)
Richard M 18.5 (19)
Richard T 12.6 (13)

And if you are playing, don't forget to bring all appropriate clothing and trophies.

A New Champion

In April 1987 Tiger Woods set 20 new records at Augusta in the process of winning his maiden major. He scored a record breaking 18 under par over four rounds and beat the field by a record margin of 12 shots.

Eat your heart out, Tiger. Malcolm Scott broke all known records previously held by Tiger Woods at Tiverton Golf Club in the process of beating the field by 8 points in just one round. Extrapolated that is considerably better than Tiger's achievement at the other Masters. On this form, Malcolm would have beaten the field by 32 points. Is this the greatest win ever in a major? Only time will tell.

In the process of racking up his 40 points, Malcolm also collected Bolly and the yellow cap. Charlie collected the bunker trousers, while the harlequin trousers were awarded to Richard T in recognition of his 25 points scored on the original date set for the D.O.G.S. Masters.

The only question outstanding is whether Malcolm can turn his victory into multiple victories, or whether he will be as well remembered as Zach Johnson, Lucas Glover, Charles Coody and Bob Goalby? All I know for sure is that Malcolm's new handicap is 15.1.

Beautiful Day, Beautiful Golf

Malcolm asked for a blog update about a third of the way around the course this morning. He obviously knew something noteworthy was happening.

Malcolm shot his best round ever of 87. He scored 38 points off his 18 handicap.

After a disappointing opening three holes, scoring just three points, he then went birdie, biride, par, birdie on the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th respectively. After nine holes he had 22 points and a front nine of 41 shots. I struggled to keep up, playing to my handicap helped me to 18 points although special mention should be made of the 5th where we both drove to the temporary winter green.

There was little let up on the back nine, although he wobbled on the 13th and the 18th. I, on the other hand, hit two of my finest ever shots (to be verified by Malcolm) securing the yellow cap on the 12th with a second to 18 inches, beaten by a second on the 18th to about 9 inches. My final score 36 points and an 85.

Lovely day. Lovely golf. Bodes well for the Monthly Medal on Monday, where we will probably keep up the tradition of appalling scoring. In the meantime, two handicaps are cut. Malcolm is now playing off 16.3 and I am playing off 13.7, nicely in time for the D.O.G.S. Masters in a few weeks time.

Come on Richard. We are giving you every chance to win it this time.

Yes You Can!

I have had a quick look at what we are each capable of. If you construct a dream round of the best score on each hole at Tiverton, then we can score as follows:

Charlie 67
David 84
Harry 60
Kevin 61
Malcolm 63
Mike 67
Richard M 71
Richard T 59

But our nightmare round produces this (you might want to look away now)

Charlie 136
David 145
Harry 144
Kevin 148
Malcolm 133
Mike 154
Richard M 114
Richard T 141

Next Masters Date: Confirmed

As a result of just 3 or 4 people being available at the end of June, the Masters has been moved to the following week.

It will now take place on Friday, 2nd July.

Please remember to bring all trophies currently in play.

Handicap Update

Mike gave me a fistful of cards yesterday so I have updated (backdated) the handicaps.

Charlie 15.5 (playing handicap of 16)
David 22.5 (23)
Harry 11.9 (12)
Kevin 14.3 (14)
Martyn 14.7 (15)
Malcolm 17.5 (18)
Mike 13.4 (13)
Richard M 18.5 (19)
Richard T 12.3 (12)

Five Club Challenge

Four of us stepped out for a round of golf yesterday morning. The deal was no woods, and only five clubs in the bag. After a quick count, Harry and Mike returned to their respective cars to put a club back muttering about putters not really counting.

So, what was the outcome of this big experiment? Predictably, we found ourselves in fewer trees - a shorter drive meant less chance of diverting widely. However, what was a surprise was that Charlie and Mike found they can drive as far with a three iron as they can with a driver. Kevin rediscovered his slice off the tee. Harry, unsportingly, used his Japanese ladies 3 iron club to great effect, Kevin drove short with a 4 iron.

Overall, scores were competitive: Harry 87, Charlie 91, Kevin 93 and Mike 101 (17 shots over 2 holes did not help). Were there lesson to be learnt - plenty; will they be learnt - probably not. Next Friday we will liklely all be back with our drivers. C'est la vie.

Next special event - mashies and niblicks, anyone?

Handicap Update

Not much to report after Friday other than new handicaps. Two up, two down and one unchanged.

Charlie 15.3 (unchanged)
Harry 11.7 (11.6)
Kevin 14.0 (14.3)
Malcolm 17.5 (17.8)
Mike 13.0 (12.9)

And, Bolly has been found and currently sitting atop Kevin's 5 wood.

One Sunny Friday

It almost felt like Spring had arrived in Tiverton. The sun shone, but unfortunately the wind still blew quite strong. Richard T produced the pathetic excuse that he was revising for a test, in Hong Kong.

So, Charlie and I drove off down the 1st, just ahead of a large society, at 8.30am. By noon we were done and dusted. It was an eventful round with some truly horrible golf being played. Charlie started with a hook and finished with a slice from the 18th tee to the 17th tee. I found bunkers aplenty and we both rummaged under the trees complaining that at Augusta at least they chop off the bottom 20ft of branches. But the sun shone.

Oh, and by the way, Charlie shot 10 pars, I hit 7 parsd and a birdie. Ourchipping and putting were supreme. As a result, Charlie's handicap is cut to 15.3 from 16.5 (he did score 85 - his best ever) while my handicap remains unchanged at 14.3 after a score of 89.

Handicap Update

Charlie 16.5 (previously 16.5)
David 22.5
Harry 11.5 (11.4)
Kevin 14.2 (15.1)
Martyn 14.7 (new handicap)
Malcolm 17.8 (18.4)
Mike 12.9
Richard M 19.7 (20.7)
Richard T 12.3 (12.3)

Spring Top Dog - Kevin

Almost a full turnout for the Spring Masters. Congratulations to Malcolm for a spirited effort to race back from Heathrow and then sprint down the first two fairways to join the second threeball for a full 18. Commiserations to Mike for being injury hit. No comment regarding David ...

Overall, scoring was pretty impressive. After nine holes Richard M, Richard T and Harry all stood on 18 points, Charlie had 17, Malcolm 16, Martin 15 and Kevin 14. The back nine was a different story with substantially better scoring. A gross back nine of one over par 37 gave Kevin 25 points and a victory of one point overall from Richard M, who scored a back nine 20 points. Kevin finished with 39 points and Richard M shot 38 points. Third place was shared by Richard T and Martin with 36 points.

During the day, there were seven birdies and thirty-two pars. I think we are improving.

Day's prizes:
Top Dog - Kevin (39 points)
Orange shirt - Malcolm
Long drive - Richard M
Nearest the hole after 2 shots on the 12th - Richard T
Furthest from the hole on 14th - Martin (third time in a row)
Big Girly's Blouse - Mike
Low score trousers - Harry
Bunker trousers - Kevin (retained)

Chicken Hound

Dear All

I chickened out because of the forecasts and paid the price, I was there in spirit, I phoned both Mike and Richard, secure in the knowledge that Richard ALWAYS answers his phone on the course. The photos to prove it are on this site. Well, not this time...

I am delighted that the competition took place, devastated that I made the wrong decision and didn't go.

I hear (on the howl-vine) that Kevin is champ! Congratulations, it's about time he paid some atention to his coaching.

Regards penalties and fines, I understand the price of letting one's friends down, gulp, look forward to wearing the hat, what exactly is a piggy hat Richard?

Regards to all

David

Handicap Update

These are the latest handicaps, officially approved by Statto. They are of course inaccurate as I am missing a few cards from recent weeks, but they are too late to be included in these calculations.

Charlie 16.5
David 22.5
Harry 11.4
Kevin 15.1
Martin not enough cards to count but we wiil give him 15 for the time being
Malcolm 18.1
Mike 12.9
Richard M 20.3
Richard T 12.3

See you in the morning.

Malcolm Makes His Move

Only two of us made it to the starting gate on Monday morning, Mike cried off with a sore arm, Harry never made it out of bed. They missed a very pleasant, and pretty swift 18 holes which were actually played in the correct order.

Malcolm had clearly decided that he needn't protect his handicap ahead of the Masters as he struck the pin with his third shot on the 1st to open with a gross birdie. A bogey on the 2nd was followed by another gross birdie on the par 5 3rd leaving him a net 4 under par after the first three holes. Things returned to a relatively normal state after that but not without him completing a front nine of 44 shots and 20 points. The back nine produced a rather disappointing two pars and a birdie on the 18th. Overall, a personal best gross score of 89, 37 points and a lot left in the tank following a lacklustre middle period. He finished the day with a handicap cut by 1.2 shots to 18.1 and a growing reputation as a player with a big future. Perhaps we should be pleased he cannot be there on the first tee on Friday.

Meanwhile, I plodded around in my old style. Nothing particularly noteworthy but just 86 shots and a small handicapp reduction to 15.1. Could be worth an outside bet for Friday?

Apologies where due

PG Wodehouse once said " It is a good rule in life never to apologise. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them".

That said, it has been brought to my attention that I maligned our highly esteemed President in an earlier email by suggesting he selected David's handicap. It appears that, in fact, David determined his own handicap. Consequently, I can do little more than humbly apologise to all concerned and hope that any hurt was temporary and not long lasting.

Stray Dog !

David, very sorry to have missed your bash ! Congrats on finishing your 'Front Nine'
(So if 9 = 50 then a DOG year is worth 5.5555 Human years so another big bash in September 2015 for your 10th Birthday !)
The bumps no less ! The lads could probably have done with another pair of hands on that one !

50 Years Young

David hosted a party on Saturday night, a round of golf Monday morning, comedy and curry on Monday night and a quiet lunch out with the wife on Tuesday to celebrate his half century. According to our actuarial expert, Mike, if you are under the age of 50, there is a 90% chance of you reaching your 100th birthday. Given the fact that David was told this on his last evening in his forties, this obviously bodes well.

So, to the golf, and clearly David is entering a purple patch. For a long time, the big quiet man has struggled to bring his scores down to two figures. It took quite a while to drop below a round of 110. And then, the drives got longer and the scoring improved dramatically. 108 in September, 100 in December and now 95. He claims he is only playing about once per quarter but there was a suggestion that such an improvement cannot be put down to age alone. Richard has initiated an investigation and will be contacting all the Cornwall based driving ranges and teaching professionals over the coming weeks.

So, on a foggy spring morning three of the scheduled four stood on the first tee at Tiverton (Kevin had dropped out to engage n a little nursing). After nine holes, Richard too had dropped by the wayside, leaving the two Titans - Mike and David - to battle it out over the final nine holes.

As usual, the back nine was played first and the front nine second. Mike shot 44 over the first nine holes to David's 51. The last nine holes saw a dramatic turnround with David shooting a gross 44 to Mike's 43. They were all square after eight of those nine. Final gross scores: Mike 87, David 95.

The talk that evening at the Comedy Club was how mny stableford points David had scored and how much his handicap would drop. It is at this point I can reveal that David was, in fact, playing off a handicap that was three below his official D.O.G.S. handicap of 26. The graphologists have inspected the scorecard and deteremined that it is clearly Mike's writing suggesting an attempted subterfuge. Hard luck. It failed.

Having recalculated the point scores, it can now be revealed that the true scores were Mike 33 points, David 39 points. New handicaps are Mike unchanged at 12.9, David slashed from 25.5 to 22.5.

The only questions that remain are: has David peaked too early for the Spring Masters? will Richard's injury present an adequate excuse for any disappointment at the Masters? will Mike's subterfuge be allowed to go unchallenged?

Only time will tell ...

Collaway Make Cracking Good Drivers

It was cold, and snowed a little, but that was not sufficient to stop three hardy souls in their quest to master the game called golf.

Richard T was dropped off by his second taxi of the morning (thanks Mike) to be greeted by Richard M and Kevin. The course was deserted, unsurprisingly, but the golf was pretty good. After nine holes it was all square with 18 points apiece.

There was a poor start to the back nine, Richard M wobbled, Richard T hit a tremendous second shot at the canal turn and Kevin just kinda plodded along. On the 7th Richard T noted a strange sensation - his special Chinese driver had cracked under the strain.

It all came down to the last hole - the 9th. The scores were Kevin 33, Ricahrd M 30 and Richard T 30. Kevin hit wide and left, under the trees and behind the bunker, Richard T hit the green and Richard M just escaped the left hand side bunker. Kevin then played a very un-doglike shot, much to the ire of Mr T. He played backwards. There was no choice. Anyway, Richard T missed his birdie putt, Richard M sank a great puitt for a 3 and Kevin trundled onto the green and down for 5.

Final scores: Kevin 89 (34 pts - 4 pars), Richard M 95 (33 pts - 5 pars) and Richard T 87 (32 pts - 5 pars and a birdie).

More importantly, Richard M now has a DOGS handicap of 20.3. Richard T and Kevin stay on 12.3 and 15.4 respectively.

Dates for the diary

As golf appears to be a phenomenally difficult game to pay at the moment (rain, snow ...) I thought a quick post to make sure everyone has the important dates in their diaries.

Friday 26 March
Friday 25 June
Friday 24 September
Friday 10 December (?)

2010, and finally back on the golf course

When I dressed yesterday morning, I thought the recent cold weather was behind us, so I only put on three layers. What a surprising mistake as the Tiverton Golf Club car park was the target of a bitter wind. Dry it was, warm it was not.

So, for the first round since a freezing 18 holes in mid-December gathered Mike, Richard, Richard and myself. Teams were picked and we set off, unusually, from the first tee. Mike and Richard T were playing off 13 apiece, Richard M off a self-selected 20 and 15 for me. And what a close encounter it was. Only a few temporary greens, some wayward driving, some fantastic putting and a chip in.

Otherwise, nothing of particular note. There was some discussion about appropriate clothing for the winter. A suggestion is shown above.

Net result, a one hole victory for Richard M and me, but overall respectable scores. Richard T 85 shots (36 pts), Richard M 92 (35 pts), 89 and 33 pts for me, while Mike shot 90 (31 pts).

New handicaps: Richard T 12.3, Mike 12.9, Richard M remains on 20 until he has completed another official round and my handicap sticks on 15.4.

Next round Friday morning. Who has Bolly and the shirt for the 14th?